Questions for married couples

Guilt often accompanies sexual activity, sometimes justifiable, other times not. “It would be easier if God gave us a more detailed list of practices that are forbidden, but He did not. His Word reads more like a love story than a how-not-to manual, a fact for which I am deeply grateful. There is a wide world of sexual expression available to every husband and wife. How can they know what practices are right for their marriage? The following questions are designed to help them discern for themselves what should or should not be a part of their lovemaking:
• Does this particular activity increase our oneness and intimacy?
• Is this activity agreed-upon and mutually pleasing?
• Is this a practice we would like for our children to engage in one day when they marry?
• Can we enjoy this with a clear conscience before God?
• Is this practice safe, medically, emotionally, and physically?
If a husband and wife can answer yes to these questions in the gray areas of sexual expression, they can feel confident that their actions are acceptable and right—both in the sight of God and in the context of their unique marital relationship.”
Again, as I said in my last blog entry, check out the book “Pure Sex” by Ed Young and get the bigger picture. They are available through NVCC for $19.00. To place your order email me at


4 thoughts on “Questions for married couples

  1. Dear Steve,

    I ran into your church after reading an article on the “Porn and Pancakes” event you hosted but unfortunately could not make it. I’ve been listening to your sermons on Pure Sex and I really appreciate the wonderful effort your church has been making in combating the sexual revolution.

    I was wondering what your church’s position is on contraception within marriage?

  2. the church really doesn’t have a position. we are a non-denominational church and therefore do not have a hierarchy that hands down positions that we must adhere to. we simply believe what the bible says on any given subject.

    on the subject of contraceptive use i do not recall the bible actually addressing it. so my position and opinion is that it is left up to each couple’s decision within any given marriage relationship as to what they are comfortable with.

    personally, i have no problem with contraceptive use by couples. my wife and i used them for years until surgery took care of the issue permanently.

  3. Dear Steve,

    To my understanding, every historical Bible scholar, commentary and denomination unanimously condemned contraception as a form of sodomy until 1930 when the Anglicans first broke from that historical Biblical understanding.

    Even without a hierarchy, the Bible has plenty to say about birth control, especially in Genesis. If we are talking about the purest sex, we have to look at what sex was like and meant for “in the beginning.”

  4. Hmm… really interesting when you look into this topic. I found a few interesting references (“The Bible vs Contraception” references the book “Called to Give Life”, Catholic Church and Birth Control which references the Anglican split in 1930, and “CHRISTIANS AND CONTRACEPTION: Convenience or Kingdom Thinking?” an article from Reformed Perspectives Magazine).

    I see two references in Genesis – one over Adam and Eve and “God blessed them – be fruitful and multiply”. What seemed at least to me to be a divisive issue was not the discussion of restraining conception for having babies in the first place, but more over the topic of restraining how many children a couple would have. Our church in Ohio (when we lived there), I don’t believe had an official viewpoint on it either, but sure did have a lot of kids at the church 🙂 Some might say the word “overflowing” really fit for the number of kids…

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