True relational intimacy is achieved by saying yes to a higher call. What is that call? To glorify God rather than to satisfy self. The apostle Paul wrote to Timothy, his younger brother in the faith: “Now flee from youthful lusts, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22). Paul’s advice was not just that Timothy run from immorality, but that he run to something better. What did he recommend that Timothy pursue? Righteousness, or rightness in God’s eyes. Faith. Real love. Peace. He also advised him to pursue those things in the company of others who loved and depended on God as he did.
If you make it your aim to pursue righteousness, love, & peace in this life, and if you surround yourself with others who are pursuing those same things out of a real love for God, I can promise you will have fewer struggles with sexual temptation than those who live to please self.
If you are a Christian, you know that your body is the very temple in which God’s Holy Spirit dwells. Your call, then, is to surrender it, along with your will, to the control and authority of Jesus Christ. “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
You cannot glorify God in your body by participating in sexual intercourse outside of marriage. If you are unmarried, you glorify God in your body by remaining celibate. If you are married, you glorify God in your body by sexual fidelity to your mate. Either celibacy or fidelity. It’s that simple.
Say yes to a higher call. Determine that you belong to God—you are His possession—and that you will not unite your body with anyone but your marriage partner. Instead of seeking to satisfy your sexual desires, decide to pursue instead the characteristics of righteousness, love, and peace. When you do this, you are embarking on the best possible preparation for achieving relational intimacy. And you will be learning from the very Master of intimacy Himself.