choices dads must make

From our discussion on Sunday, May 17, here is a recap of five choices dads must make.

1. Present or Presence?

We are talking about the choice between being around and being a major player in the development and direction of your children, or your marriage for that much. It is the choice between taking up space and making a major contribution, between being a provider and being personally involved. It is the difference between being there and making a difference. Present is there. Presence makes a difference.

2. Wise Direction or Cool Dad?

Do I give my children what they need or what they want.

3. Parent or Friend?

It would be great if you could be both but you can’t. If being a friend is most important you will fail as a parent. And as hard as it is, you will have to choose, parent or friend.

4.Love or Stuff?

Again, we’re talking about giving our kids what they want or what they need. They are given way too much stuff that they don’t need, that’s not good for them, and not nearly enough of what they desperately crave. And what they crave is real love. You can’t buy that.

5.Religious or Real?

We’re talking about the difference between being a religious person and a real Christ follower. Here are some contrasts.

Religious                                                                                                 Real

Sunday Christian or confined to certain events                        all the time 24/7 Christ follower
About rules and rituals                                                        about a relationship with the creator
Often discriminatory                                                            treats all people with equal respect
Dispenses truth                                                                       offers grace and truth
Points a finger                                                                         opens arms
Knows the Bible                                                                      lives by the Bible
Informed                                                                                   transformed
Driven by the law of God                                                    compelled by the love of God
Looks good                                                                               is good
Hates the sin and the sinner                                              hates the sin and loves the sinner
Confined mostly in church                                                sees the world as the mission field
Skin deep                                                                                   to the core

Get the point? If you want to be the kind of dad that is respected and followed, get rid of the cloak of religion and put on the real thing. Be an authentic follower of Jesus. Nothing will turn your kids away from God more than hypocrisy, nothing will draw them to God more than the real thing.

Everything in life is about choices, EVERYTHING. The choices aren’t always between good and bad. Sometimes it’s two bads, the lesser of two evils or two goods, which one is the best? But there is always choice in everything we do. You will not avoid it until the day you die.

Success in life more than anything else comes down to one thing, MAKING RIGHT CHOICES. I know, there are some genetics involves and sometimes just plane luck, but the overwhelming determiner when it comes to success is all about making right choices.


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